Originally Posted by stillwrestling
You're kidding yourself if you think that just because your kid hasn't been nailed on myspace with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other that he hasn't ever been drinking or smoked.
Making a kid ask me for a pass to take a piss doesn't keep someone from selling drugs in a bathroom. It just makes you feel better as an adult with kids you worry about and care about. The reality is, most kids aren't buying dope in the bathroom because they're smarter and better than that, not because of the hall pass or the "harsh" penalties like suspensions, etc.
We should feel good about that fact. I really think it's true. The kids are largely rule abiding and non-addicted. I don't think that's because of punishments. It's because they're actually decent and responsible. They go to class because they do see the value. All the rules and punishments just let them pretend they don't sometimes so they don't feel like someone else's puppet al the time.
First, I feel pretty secure in the fact that my son hasn't tried drinking or smoking. He has an older brother who has been down that road...and has seen what it can do, not only to him, but to the entire family. He respects himself enough to respect the rules set forth. Second, if he WERE that stupid as to break the rules he agreed to in the first place, I wouldn't be stupid enough to bail him out of the trouble he got himself into.